How hard is that?
Some may not be aware of how very much has been placed upon my daughter in the last three years. She met Adam, fell in love and they married. We were not aware that Adam was battling drug addiction. Aparently he became addicted after a football injury in high school. Shortly after they were married, a baby on the way, Adam got into some trouble. Still battling addiction the family was able to get him into a rehab facility. He would remain there, away from his family, throughout the rest of her pregnancy and through the birth of their first son, Jackson. We all loved Adam, and believed he would kick the habit. Erin was in love with Adam and believed this completely. While in the facility he had some issues with his blood pressure to the point it might have caused a stroke. He was taken to the hospital and it was determined that he had suffered a stroke. The silver lining was he was allowed to go home to finish his rehab. He lost a great deal of weight. And eventually the facial drooping was not noticeable at all. Things were looking good. They soon have huge news. Erin is pregnant with triplets! We were a little nervous, but overjoyed. Then we found out she was carrying a fraternal, with a set of MoMo twins.This was very scary. MoMo twins are rare. The survival rate is grim. Soon she lost the twins. We were all so grateful that the fraternal had survived, yet so saddened by the loss of those sweet twins. When it came time for delivery it was botched up so badly. Bennett suffered birth trauma and was taken to Grady for a couple of weeks. He was such a little fighter. He came home and life should start smoothing out for this little family. But Adam was still struggling with addiction and it was heavy on Erin’s mind. Can you imagine what was going through her mind. All she wanted was for them to have their little family. The love was there and it had always been there. She truly loved Adam….and he loved her. She stuck it out through all of that and just wanted everything to work out. Then Tuesday, June 30th Adam was killed in an automobile accident. HOW MUCH CAN SHE TAKE?
She has taken his death so hard. She had an emotional breakdown. Overwhelmed with sadness, she often allowed me to take the children. She never asked me to. I offered….to give her some space to work out this sadness and grief. I am her MOTHER. I have her best interests at heart, and the best interests of her children.
On top of ALL that my daughter has gone through. She needs to be strengthened. If you cannot say anything to comfort, why say anything at all?
Erin will get through this. She will do it in her own time. It is not anyone’s business how she deals with it.
Truthfully, if something happened to my husband. It is hard to know exactly how I would react. I can only imagine the overwhelming sadness and loneliness. But until I have actually experienced that, I cannot judge how someone else deals with it. A couple verses I am thinking about right now are, Matthew 7, 5 New International Version You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye. And another John 8, 7. “He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone.
Another quote I love:
“A mother’s love for her child is like nothing else in the world.
It knows no law, no pity, it dares all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path.
Our children were raised in a way that instilled morals and values. We taught and led by example. They were taught respect and to treat others with respect regardless their skin color, religion, or how rich or poor. I am proud of how Erin was strong through the Adam’s absence. She took care of her responsibilities. When Adam came home she did everything she could to help him with the addiction. She did not coddle or enable him. She always held his feet to the fire….Holding him accountable. She should not feel bad about this. Everything she did was to make their family stronger.
Erin was a rock. She stood by Adam. She has done what she should. Remained faithful, worked hard to support the family, and was, and is a Wonderful mother. I am proud of her and wish only for her to have joy in her life again. My advice to anyone who loves her: It is still raw for her. Find kindness in your heart and love her through this. Anything else is just mean!